Free Agency

The other day, Nicolas graduated from High School. Being so far away on a mission in Santiago, Chile and not having money to buy a gift, I wondered what I could give him. I also thought about Father's Day, which is coming up this Sunday and I thought about the responsibility I have as a father toward my grandchildren. I decided to write a letter to all of you over the age of sixteen and tell about a gospel concept which bothered me when I was your age.

As a youth I heard a lot about "free agency" but I didn't really get it. As it was explained to me, I was free to choose either good or evil. However many of my friends were making decisions that did not seem good or evil to me. The issue seemed not to be black or white but shades of gray.

It appeared to me that the more I obeyed my parent's rules and kept the commandments taught by the church the more restrictive my choices became. At that time, many of my friends and cousins were smoking cigarettes and drinking beer. Many of them seemed to be much more sexually active than my rules allowed me to be. In my mind, they were the ones who were free and I was the one living under a lot of restrictions.

Now that I can look back on that time with another fifty years of experience, I can see that my choices and options are much more open than those who seemed to have more freedoms at that time. Here are a few examples.

One seemed always able to do things that I could not. He was very popular in school, he was an outstanding athlete sought by many colleges, and seemed to be able to accomplish anything he set his mind to do. He chose not to be a member of the church, even though his mother and sibblings were active. He used alcohol and tobacco at will and lived a very promiscuous sexual life. He thought I was crazy for not joining him in all of the things he did. He ridiculed me and even became upset with me when I did not participate with him.

How is he doing today? Well, he flunked out of college in his first year and lost his football scholarship. He joined the military but was soon kicked out with a general discharge because he would not keep the rules. He started a nice family but his wife kicked him out because he couldn't keep a job. He mooched off his family until he died an early death aggravated by drinking.

Another whose life was very productive in most areas ended up having a cancerous lung removed after years of smoking. Another gave up a child born out of wedlock. She later worked as a prostitute.

Why did these people, all of whom had fantastic potential end up they way they did when others chose to make different choices ended up living fairly normal lives. I believe it is because of the choices made.

You are at that age when you are making or will soon be making important decisions. You will decide what college you will attend, whom you will marry, whether to serve a mission, or what your occupation will be. As important as all those decisions are, they may not impact your life as much as taking that first drink, cigarette, pill or having sex before marriage. These latter decisions seem insignificant and yet could significantly reduce your choices in the future.

The freedom to chose, "free agency," is the freedom to obey or not to obey certain laws. That freedom does not alter their consequences. Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of 12 Apostles said: "We are responsible to use our agency in a world of choices. It will not do to pretend that our agency has been taken away when we are not free to exercise it without unwelcome consequences."

My teenage children sometimes complained when I told them they could go out with their friends on Friday and Saturday only if they attended their church meetings on Sunday and Wednesday night. They insisted I was stealing their "free agency" but that is what "free agency" is all about; knowing the consequences of all the alternatives and then making a choice.

The war in heaven, in which we all participated, was all about defending and preserving agency. We fought on the side of our elder brother, Jesus Christ against the forces of Satan. We continue to fight that same battle today. Every day we decide whether we will fight on the side of Jesus Christ or on the side of Satan. Sometimes, I look back and realize I fought on the wrong side that day. I resolve to do better and strive to fight on the right side the next day.

What determines on which side I am fighting each day? The answer lies in the choices I make that day. Your decisions help you know on which side you are fighting. When we find ourselves traveling down the wrong path, we can make the decision to change. Christ will then take upon himself our past wrong choices.

Elder David Bednar of the Quorum of 12 Apostles said: "When any of Heavenly Fathers children misuse their physical tabernacles by violating the law of chastity, by using drugs and addictive substances, by disfiguring or defacing themselves or by worshiping the false idol of body image, whether their own of that of others, Satan is delighted."

My greatest desire for each of you is personal happiness and joy. That comes through making good choices. It is not so important how far we are away from God's presense as it is which direction we are traveling.

I pray that each of you is making the choices that lead toward joy and happiness. I also pray that if you have made wrong choices in the past, you will immediately begin making right choices and allow the atonement of Christ to help you find that joy and happiness. We live in difficult times and they are going to get worse. Difficult times are bad enough without making choices that will separate you from the Spirit of God.

I know that your Heavenly Father has exactly the perfect plan for you which is constantly adjusting to your specific needs. I know he loves you and wants your to return to His presense in joy and happiness. I am happiest when I am doing my best to keep the commandments of God and serving His children. I love you all and wish you my best.